Story Title: (5/5)
The title really caught my attention so I’ll give you 5

Description/Summary/Foreword: (4/5)
The description was okay but the letters were too BIG. I think you should minimize it a little. But I like the way you describe the characters.

Story Plot/Originality: (10/10)
I may have read a lot of stories with a cold person but this one is different. So I’ll give you a PERFECT 10!

Flow: (10/10)
The flow of the story was GOOD

Grammar/Spelling: (8/10)
There was one misspelled word and it was from the description. The word was “noscence” I think you should change it to “nonsense”. There were wrong grammars too. The 1st one and 2nd one were from the description and the 3rd one was from the chapter 15


1.Instead of: Theres nothing that your dad can’t do.
Consider: There’s nothing that your dad can’t do.

2.Instead of: You didn’t had friends anyway
Consider: You didn’t have friends anyway.

3.Instead of: No! Of course I didn’t did that on purpose.
Consider: No! Of course I didn’t do that on purpose.



Enjoyment: (9/10)
I do enjoy your story, but I think you have to make your chapters long. Because some people like chapters that are long, I know because I’m an author too. So I’ll give you 9! ^_^

Total: (46/50)

Would I recommend it?: Of course, Yes!!!


Sorry if it took so long to review ^^

Review by Happy_Virus_21

Story Title: (5/5)

The title is good!

Description/Summary/Foreword: (4/5)

The description was okay.

Story Plot/Originality: (8/10)

YESH I liked the plot! Not really original though.

Flow: (10/10)

I know this is a one shot, but it had a nice flow to it. Nothing hard to understand.

Grammar/Spelling: (9/10)

‘He drove you further and further without saying a word and finally he pullovered infront of an empty shop.’ ‘pullovered’ should be ‘pulled over’ and ‘in front’ are two different words.

“Gosh that smile, it still make my heart flutter” ‘make’ should be ‘makes’.

“3 months in the states felt like a day to me” I think you made a typo or did you really mean to use day?

“Well,…since we haven’t seen each other for quiet some time,..’ I think you mean ‘quite’ not ‘quiet’.

“But why did you broke off the kiss earlier!?” ‘broke’ should be ‘break’.

Enjoyment: (9/10)

I don’t really like stories that have ____ in it because it gets kinda annoying tbh. I still like this one shot!

Total: (45/50)

Would I recommend it?: Yeah. So Christmas-y!~

OMG This was so cute and fluffy!! >.<

Love BAPBlackjackVIP